


Tonight, I Can Write The Saddest Lines

by The_Shattered_Angel



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, poem fic?, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 18:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4845353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Shattered_Angel/pseuds/The_Shattered_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tonight I can write the saddest lines.<br/>I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tonight, I Can Write The Saddest Lines

‘Tonight I can write the saddest lines.  
  
Write, for example, 'The night is shattered  
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'  
  
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.  
  
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.  
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.’

 

 

Margaery and Sansa’s meetings were fleeting. Quick, rushed kisses in empty corridors, heated encounters in the gardens, fast bouts of love making in the many alcoves and hiding places in King’s Landing.

Each affair left Sansa craving more and more of the older girl. Her soft lips, her silky hair, her pale skin. Sansa begged and pleaded with her to spend a night with her in her bedchambers. To be able to wake up next to her after a long night of love. Sansa wanted all of her, a foolish craving of course, for both girls knew how this would end.

Margaery would marry Joffrey and become Queen. Sansa would marry Loras and be shipped off to Highgarden, to never see each other again aside from royal visits which would leave them both much too busy to bother with old dalliances.

And so Margaery denied her constantly, always the dutiful one, she knew that if they were found it would mean the end of both of them.

 

 

‘Through nights like this one I held her in my arms  
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.  
  
She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.  
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.’

 

 

 

But during late nights under the stars, right before they said goodbye and retired to their bedchambers. Where they’d do nothing but hold each other while sitting on stone benches surrounded by rose bushes, Sansa would allow herself to admit she felt something. Sansa would allow herself to admit that this is the closest thing she has ever felt to love.  When she looked into Margaery’s beautiful doe eyes, she almost convinced herself the look in the older girls’ eyes meant she felt the same.

 

‘Tonight I can write the saddest lines.  
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.  
  
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.  
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.  
  
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.  
The night is shattered and she is not with me.’

 

 

Although Sansa knew this day was coming, the mental preparation did nothing to deter the sharp twinge of pain in her aching heart. She watched as Mace walked Margaery down the aisle. Every step making the twist in her stomach tighter.

She clenched her teeth as they reached each other, swallowing hard to keep the bile down. The smile on Margaery’s face making her sick. The smile that was reserved for her. The smile that during their most intimate moments would grace the other girls face. The smile that could shone brighter than all of the stars in the sky.

She watched as Joffrey put his cloak around her shoulders, blinking repeatedly as the septon tied their hands together and said the sacred words. She glared harshly at Joffrey as he turned and announced, “With this kiss, I pledge my love.” Her glare turned darker as he leaned in and kissed her.

As they pulled away, the turned toward the audience. Margaery cast one, quick, sad glance at Sansa. The look quickly turned into a bright smile. It quickly reminded her that for all that Margaery wanted Sansa, Margaery always wanted the throne more.

It reminded her that no amount of love would have kept Margaery by her side. It reminded her that she was never hers to begin with. In her anger, she allowed the sarcastic “We have a new Queen.” To drop bitterly from her lips.

Her husband misplaced her flaming jealousy and replied with a sharp, “Better her than you.”

 

 

‘This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.  
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.  
  
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.  
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.  
  
The same night whitening the same trees.  
We, of that time, are no longer the same.’

 

 

Sansa shares a look with Margaery one last time at the wedding feast. As Joffrey is dying in his mother’s arms and Sansa is being pulled away by Ser Dontos. The look is fleeting, like everything about them, but it says everything she needs to know. ‘Goodbye, my darling.’ Her stare seems to whisper before she is whisked away.

As she sits in The Vale, no longer Sansa Stark, now Alayne Stone, she wonders if Margaery thinks about her as much as she thinks about Margaery. Her caring yet cunning eyes, that little quirk of her lips that she’s felt under hers hundreds of times. She wonders idly if Margaery would recognize her, it hasn’t been much time but she looks older, feels older, she wonders if Margaery looks older too. She wonders if she would like her dark locks, or if she would prefer the Tully red more.

But most of all, she wonders if she misses her. Wonders if her hands shake to run them through her locks again, wonders if her mouth throbs to kiss her another time, wonders if her body aches to hold her near once again. She wonders if she feels how Sansa feels.

But then she heard that she had married Tommen, and she figures that she’s too busy with her new husband to think of lost almost loves.

Over time, the feeling fades.

 

 

‘I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.  
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.  
  
Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.  
Her void. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.’

 

 

The dragon queen sweeps through the seven kingdoms in a whirlwind of fire and blood. Tommen and the remaining Lannisters are arrested. The Tyrells are forgiven, they helped the Tagaeryen Queens father during the rebellion and that loyalty saved all of them.

When she is summoned to the capitol by Sansa Stark, not Alayne, she knows better than to refuse. She expects to be taken prisoner as well for her father’s actions in the rebellion. Instead she is met with a beautiful Queen with silver hair and amethyst eyes telling her that she won’t judge her based on her father, Ned’s, actions as long as Sansa does the same for her.

She’s told that she should get some rest, that she’s sure it was a long ride from the Vale and that her old bedchamber was open to her. Sansa accepted gratefully, exhausted and started on the walk to her old room. She reveled in the feeling of walking through the keep, it had been so long since she had been able to walk through it without fear. Without worrying that if she stepped wrong she would upset someone and off would come her head.

She sighed as she reached her bedchambers, everything about it was the same, the vanity with a looking glass, the table and chairs in exactly the same spot. Everything exactly the same, until her eyes fell on the bed.

Sansa had thought that the Tyrells had left to go to Highgarden. That they had scurried off after Daenerys had pardoned them. Clearly she was wrong.

Sitting on her bed, looking at her expectantly with a slightly worried look on her face. All was still for a few moments as the girls took each other in for the first time in what felt like years.

Sansa didn’t say anything, she didn’t move, she stood there stiffly. Margaery cleared her throat awkwardly, “Well, she didn’t arrest you, that’s good.” With that, the spell was broken Sansa rushed forward and wraps her arms around Margaery’s waist. Margaery’s arms come up around her shoulders, their faces inches apart.

It was Margaery who closed the distance, kissing her hungrily like it was all she had wanted for a lifetime. When they pulled away, Margaery was crying. “I missed you so much. I missed you like I’d never missed anything before.” She kisses her quickly again before whispering, “I was terrified I was never going to see you again.” She then put her face in the crook of Sansa’s neck while muttering, “I was terrified that I’d never get to tell you that I loved you.”

Sansa pauses as Margaery pulls back to look at her reaction. Sansa could feel the swells of happy tears tugging at the corners of her eyes. “Loved?” She whispered back to her.

“Love.” Margaery corrected herself. And for the first time, while holding Margaery in her arms, she knew that she was hers, body and soul.

 

 

‘I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.   
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.  
  
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms  
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.  
  
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer  
and these the last verses that I write for her.

**Author's Note:**

> I was completely inspired by the 'Tonight I can write the saddest lines' poem by Pablo Neruda. I was itching to write this since I read it, so here this is. Not my best work but eh, whatever.
> 
> Find me on tumblr [here.](http://flawlesslesbianangel.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Comments and criticisms are certainly appreciated.


End file.
